


Flurries of the Heart

by SinfulAqua



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: F/F, Feelings Realization, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Angst, Rare Pairings, Zine, Zine: Missed Connections
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-28 14:37:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20968205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SinfulAqua/pseuds/SinfulAqua
Summary: Elsa goes to learn magic from Aqua and ends up learning a few things about herself at the same time.





	Flurries of the Heart

“Now, if you just cup your hands together like this and concentrate for a moment, you should be able to form a snowflake!”

Elsa watched as Aqua took her hands and cupped them together as she spoke, her touch delicate and almost loving. Loving? It was such a simple gesture, it was part of a lesson, why was she viewing it as that? Shouldn’t it be encouraging, since Aqua was trying to teach her more about her magic and how to better control it?

Trying to push those thoughts from her mind, Elsa did as she was told, even going so far as to close her eyes as she concentrated to try and create the singular snowflake in her palms. She felt her hands tremble a bit, Aqua’s warm fingers gently brushing against her skin to try and soothe her.

“Look at that,” she heard the other say, a touch of awe in her words. Elsa dared to open her eyes, gasping at the tiny cluster snowflakes she currently held. But hadn’t she done it wrong? She was supposed to make just _ one _snowflake, not multiple! She was about to open her mouth and apologize for messing up, only for the words to die on her tongue when she got a proper look at Aqua’s expression.

The other woman appeared to be pleasantly surprised by the result, even though it wasn’t exactly what she had asked Elsa to do. She was still holding her hands, her gaze going from one snowflake to the other, almost as if she was trying to memorize each little detail they contained that made them unique.

And there was this smile on her face that made her look beautiful in the early morning light.

Elsa nearly yanked her hands away at that thought, unable to believe herself. Of course, Aqua was beautiful, but why was she suddenly thinking of how she looked right now, or how Aqua’s smile seemed to send little flurries through her? In fact, she had to glance around to make sure she hadn’t accidentally made a snow flurry in response to the fluttering she felt within.

“Elsa, are you alright?” Aqua’s voice snapped Elsa’s attention back to the present, the snowflakes she still held now scattering and flying off. She had no idea where they were going and she could only hope that they were going to melt. It was their fault she even noticed that smile upon Aqua’s face in the first place!

“Yes, I’m quite alright,” she replied, hesitantly pulling her hands away from Aqua’s. She already found herself missing the warmth of the other woman’s touch, almost wondering if there was a way she could get it back before mentally shaking her head. Now was _ not _the time to be focusing on something as ridiculous as. . . Whatever these feelings were!

Aqua smiled again, this time directing it towards her, and try as she might to blame the chill in her ice palace as the cause of her flushed cheeks, Elsa knew it was because of that beautiful smile. She could only watch as Aqua seemingly skated along the floor of the palace, her cloak flowing behind her gently, almost as if it was being lifted by a light breeze.

All Elsa saw, however, was an almost ethereal being gliding within her castle, going from one side of the room to another while talking about some sort of follow up lesson. Something about making crystals that wouldn’t melt, if she actually bothered to listen. Her attention wasn’t on Aqua’s words though, and there were even a few more smiles thrown her way whenever the other would go by. Elsa swore she could feel her heart skip a beat or two.

What even was this feeling? Why did she want to be near Aqua all the time?

Once more, Elsa found herself pulled from these thoughts by Aqua, who had suddenly returned to her side and taken her hands again. It took her a moment to realize that she was being asked a question, and she hated how her voice stuttered when she said, “I-I’m so sorry, do you mind repeating that?”

Aqua laughed, the sound a joyful melody to Elsa. She wanted to hear it again and again, wanted to never let go of her hands, wanted to-

No, stop! She wasn’t the romantic here! So why is it so hard to focus on anything but this?

“I was asking if you wanted to skate with me,” Aqua said, breaking Elsa’s current thought process. Elsa found herself smiling in response, honestly glad for a distraction that wasn’t lessons, yet still something that would keep her near Aqua.

“I would love to.”

Though disappointed that Aqua was letting go of her once more, Elsa was still pleased to find that she was sticking close by as the two of them began to skate through the palace. She’d just ask Anna about these strange feelings later. After all, her sister was the romantic in the family.

Right now, she just wanted a few moments with Aqua before resuming lessons on their way back to the main castle.

***

“Anna? Are you here?” Elsa couldn’t hide the nervousness in her voice. After all, she had never once asked her sister about how relationships work or even begin. She didn’t even know if she was actually feeling anything more than friendship for Aqua, but. . .

Her heart seemed to leap at the thought of Aqua and her smile, and she would feel warmer whenever she was near her. It was a feeling she wasn’t used to and couldn’t describe, unable to find a practical explanation behind all of this. Was there even a practical explanation? There had to be, right?

No, no, if there was one, then she wouldn’t be here, would she? She wouldn’t be looking for her sister and be planning to ask her about _ love _ of all things if she could come up with a more practical reason for why she felt little snow flurries seemingly form inside of her whenever she thought about Aqua.

“Elsa?” Anna’s head popped out from behind a shelf. There was a curious look in her eyes, one that made Elsa almost completely back out of this idea entirely. Would her sister even be okay with this? They never really discussed relationships like this, and the first time the subject had come up had been a disaster, more or less. Not that this one would end up being a disaster, she hoped, but there was still a possibility.

“Anna, I was just, uh, wondering. . . How did you know that you had feelings for Kristoff? Or, um, how he makes you feel when you look at him or he smiles at you?” Her voice was a bit shaky, that usual regal composure she held completely nonexistent. And her thoughts continued to trail back to _ Aqua _ no matter how hard she tried to think of anything _ but _the enchanting sorceress.

Oh, gods, she was smitten, wasn’t she? Is that what this was?

“Elsa, your face is all red!” Anna was suddenly right in front of her, gently touching a cheek with one hand. “Are you getting a cold? Or is it something else?”

Oh, there was now a mischievous smile on her sister’s face. Elsa didn’t even have time to say she didn’t get colds (which they both knew was a lie) before Anna was suddenly grabbing her hands to spin her around. She was so caught off guard by the movements that she barely had a chance to register what her sister was saying.

“You’re in love! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, you’re in _ love_!”

Was she allowed to freeze herself and never move again? Arendelle would do fine with Anna as queen and Kristoff as. . . Well, Kristoff. They didn’t need her, they didn’t need someone who just _ barely _ knew how to control her ice powers, and they _ certainly _ didn’t need someone who was in love with a _ woman_.

Oh. Oh no. How would anyone be able to accept that? They all had such a hard time accepting her powers, so this. . .

As Elsa stood there, inwardly panicking, Anna was going about the room, darting from bookshelf to bookshelf, almost like she was looking for something.

“You have to tell me what he’s like! Is he handsome? Have you known him for long? Oh, oh, do you sing songs of love to one another? He’s okay with your ice powers, right?”

Of course, none of this was registering to Elsa, who was still worrying, little snowflakes now fluttering around her as she stayed inside her own head. Anna noticed this though, noticed how her sister wasn’t only lost in her thoughts, but also not stuttering or giving even vague answers to her questions.

So, she stepped up to her, snapping her fingers to get her attention. Once Elsa was looking at her, there was a gentle smile on her face.

“You’re not in love with a man, are you? You’re in love with a woman!”

There was no disgust in her voice, which was surprising to Elsa. In fact, that gentle smile was turning into another smirk, and then Elsa was pulled into another spinning hug by Anna.

“Wait, wait, s-stop! Stop!” She waited for Anna to stop spinning the both of them around, her sister looking confused, and for good reason. But Elsa was _ also _confused.

Why was her sister just. . . _ accepting _this?

“How are you okay with this? With. . . With me liking a woman?”

Anna rolled her eyes, taking her sister by the hand to lead her over to one of the many tables in the library. “Easy. You’re my sister. Also, if I can be fine with you having ice powers, you liking a _ girl _is nothing to worry about.”

Oh. That. . . That made sense. Elsa felt herself relax a bit, the pressure she felt in her chest lessening. Her sister accepted her, _ all _ of her. “Thank you, Anna. It means a lot to me. I was so nervous about asking you if what I felt for her was _ real, _or if you had any ideas on how I should tell her how I feel for her. So, I was wondering if-”

“Way ahead of you!” Anna was already darting from shelf to shelf, grabbing one book after the other. Elsa still couldn’t believe how her sister could carry several heavy looking books without breaking a sweat, or keep her balance with them in her arms and obscuring her vision. It wasn’t much longer before those very books were placed before her, clouds of dust rising from them.

“Okay, so this one right here has her confess to him at sunset. Meanwhile, this one ends with her confessing to him in the heat of battle! Oh, oh, and _ this one _ has _ him _ confess to _ her _ by giving her something precious from his life! And then _ this one_-!”

Elsa listened as her sister rambled on and on about the different books and how the couples in them did their confessions. Of course, most of them she couldn’t follow, and she also wasn’t going to break into song like she figured Anna had at some point. Perhaps she could do something with her magic? Do something to the mountain?

“Do you. . . Think an ice sculpture would be too much?” she finally asked.

“No! No, no, that is not too much! You could go even _ bigger _than that!”

Elsa laughed as Anna launched into a spiel about confession ideas. Maybe everything would go smoothly after all.

***

Things were definitely _ not _ going smoothly. The ice sculpture wasn’t turning out right, and she couldn’t figure out the right words to _ say_. Of all the things Anna had suggested to do, _ nothing _was connected to the words she should use to tell Aqua that she was falling in love with her.

Was there even an easy way to do this? Sure, all those different books had shown how the characters had confessed their love. . . But some had done it in the heat of the moment, or when one was about to die! And right now all they did was practice magic. No heat of the moment, no nearly dying. None of those methods would come even _ close _to working for her like it did for the book characters.

Maybe she should practice? Without even a second thought, Elsa formed an ice sculpture of Aqua, her face immediately heating up at the thought of even trying to confess to a mere replica of the woman she desired. This was. . . Definitely embarrassing. Thank goodness she was alone.

“Aqua, there’s um, there’s s-something I’d like to tell you.” Oh, hopefully the stammering wouldn’t be happening when she _ actually _ told her how she felt. “You see, uh. I might have. . . No, not _ might_, I definitely. . . Ugh!” Elsa threw her hands up, pacing back and forth in front of the ice sculpture. This was much more frustrating than she had been expecting. Too many words wanted to come tumbling out of her mouth, too many feelings ready to burst forth from her chest.

“Is there no easy way to say this?! Why can’t it be easy, like in all those books?” She found herself in front of the sculpture again, reaching forward to cup its cheeks. “Why can’t I just. . . Look at you without feeling like my heart will explode? Why can’t I just tell you that I love you?”

Of course it was easier to tell a fake. If she was face to face with Aqua right now, she would probably chicken out of actually telling her, and this whole thing would get pushed aside and then Aqua would be gone. She’d never get the chance to tell her how she felt.

Wait. There were some stories about events like that. And then the one who never confessed either died of a broken heart or suffered a heartbreak so horrible, that they fell to darkness and hurt others around them. She couldn’t go through with that. Not again, not ever again!

Snow began to swirl around her, an unseen wind picking up around her. Would all of that really happen to her? Would she bring about an endless winter, all because she never told Aqua how she felt? She could hurt Anna again, and not even true love would restore her this time! No, no, no, no-

“Elsa?”

** _“NO!”_ **

Elsa swept her arm forward, spears of ice shooting out around her from the movement, the sculpture of Aqua shattering behind her. She hadn’t heard who had come up, hadn’t even _ seen _ them. But if she had vaguely recognized the voice, then she _ certainly _recognized the gasp.

_ Aqua. _

Elsa opened her eyes, fearing the worst, already imagining Aqua with ice piercing her abdomen and spreading over her body. Again. She had done it again; she had frozen someone she loved _ again _and-

Aqua stood before her, a barrier surrounding her form and, most importantly, no ice even near her. Her eyes were wide, full of concern and something else that Elsa just couldn’t quite place.

But before the other woman could even ask her what had happened, Elsa turned to run out of the room, fully intending to get away from Aqua and away from any questions or accusations she might have.

“Elsa? Elsa, wait!” Aqua called out, her voice just barely reaching the fleeing queen’s ears. As much as she wanted to turn around, she couldn’t bring herself to stop, hoping she could get as much distance between them as possible.

This was not how _ any _of this was meant to turn out.

***

How far had she gotten? Her lungs were screaming, her legs aching enough that she had to bring herself to a stop. What had she done? She had almost hurt someone she loved. She almost became a villain, with nothing but darkness in her heart.

Darkness. Was that really the only thing she could be? Was there really no place in the light for her to be? Elsa sat down on a fallen log, not bothered in the slightest by the snow that coated it. She took a shaky breath, trying her hardest to keep her composure and not absolutely fall apart.

“Elsa?”

Elsa jumped at the sound of Aqua’s voice, turning to look at the other woman with wide eyes. Run. She should run away, and keep a safe distance between her and Aqua so she never got hurt and-

Before she could do any of that, she found that Aqua had sat down beside her and taken hold of her hands. Heat rose to Elsa’s cheeks, coloring them slightly as she lifted her head to meet Aqua’s gaze. What she expected to see was disappointment and distrust. Instead, she was met with concern and what she could swear was relief.

Why was she relieved?

“Aqua, I’m so sorry. I was. . . I was having a hard time, my thoughts were all a mess. I didn’t hear you come up and ended up lashing out when I shouldn’t have. I-”

Aqua was quick to place a finger on Elsa’s lips, causing the ice queen’s cheeks to darken from the mere gesture. She was confused when Aqua pulled her hand back and had a smile on her face though. Why was she smiling? There was no reason she should be smiling! She had nearly gotten her heart frozen!

“I should have made myself known, and for that, I’m sorry. But, you didn’t hurt me, Elsa. I was able to protect myself.” Aqua brushed a thumb across the back of Elsa’s hand, that smile still on her face. “What was going on though?”

Oh, this was _ not _how she wanted this conversation to go. And yet. . . It didn’t seem like Aqua knew what was going on. Perhaps she could avoid the real subject for just a few moments longer! She just needed a good excuse, she just needed-

The truth, in a way.

“There’s someone I like, but I don’t know how to tell them.” Elsa sighed, pulling her hands away from Aqua. “I was trying to practice a confession, but nothing was coming out right, and I began to worry.”

“Worry about what?”

Elsa found herself unable to look at Aqua then, her fingers gripping the fabric of her skirt.

“. . . That I have too much darkness in my heart. This isn’t the first time I’ve nearly hurt someone, nor the first time a heart was almost frozen because of me. Aqua, how can anyone care for me and see beyond that? Sure, my sister can, but that’s because she’s my _ sister_. No one else could see beyond that and love me!”

There was a silence that fell between them after all of that came tumbling out of Elsa’s mouth. She was still unable to look at the other woman, her breath catching in her throat when Aqua shifted to once more take her hands in her own. Elsa lifted her head then, surprised to see that Aqua looked ashamed.

Why? What was she ashamed of to look like that? She wanted to make her smile again, immediately thinking that it was something that should _ never _fall from her face.

“Elsa, I _ know _ that there is someone out there who loves you, regardless of how much darkness you think is inside of you,” Aqua said. She took a deep breath, briefly looking away from her before meeting the queen’s gaze again. “I should know. I have darkness in me, darkness that. . . That scares me. But I still have my friends despite that. I still have _ you_.”

That made Elsa stare at her. Aqua’s mouth was still moving, a light blush coloring her cheeks, but whatever she was saying didn’t register to her. All she could focus on was the fact that Aqua said she had her. Could that mean she felt the same?

She couldn’t lose this chance, she couldn’t risk never letting Aqua know her feelings when she was so certain that the other woman confessed the same ones. Okay, confessed before she did, but still!

Elsa pulled her hands from Aqua’s, lifting them up to cup the other woman’s cheek. Aqua went quiet, looking like she was about to ask Elsa what she was doing.

Without wasting another moment, she kissed Aqua, feeling like her heart was going to burst forth from her chest.

Elsa pulled away after a moment, completely prepared to explain what she had done, only for Aqua to lean in and kiss her again. Elsa sighed against her lips, a smile on her face once Aqua pulled away again.

“Does this mean that you also. . . ?”

Aqua laughed, reaching up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind Elsa’s ear. “I heard you say you love me, Elsa. And I wanted to tell you that I love you, too.”

Elsa couldn’t help but laugh, pressing her forehead against Aqua’s. “You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear that.”

“Believe me, I think I have an idea.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, it has been a while, hasn't it? This and the other fic I am posting today were part of the Kingdom Hearts rare pair zine. Unfortunately, as these pieces ended up consuming most of my time along with life absolutely kicking my ass, the rest of my projects are on hold. My fiance and I do plan to continue Deep Rooted Desire at some point, as it is fully complete and needs editing, but for now we plan to take a break and step back from various social medias. I hope you guys understand, and enjoy the fics!


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